# “This must be your dad”

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Joke
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-wedding-best-man-gaffe
- Themes: mistakes, humour, self-acceptance
- Life situations: embarrassing mistake, perfectionism

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

At a wedding blessing Ajahn Brahm assumes the older man beside the young man is his father — and is corrected, to the older man's displeasure.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

Last Sunday I was doing a marriage service for one of the people who comes here regularly, and she's married to a nice young boy. You always have to get married to a boy, I suppose, if you're a girl. [laughter] Ajahn: I don't know why I said that, but anyway she was getting married... [laughter] Ajahn: ...and after the service, doing the blessing service, and I said to him... That's right, this elderly man came to stand next to him, and I said, "Oh, is that your father?" And the old man said, "No, I'm the best man." [laughter] Ajahn: He was not very happy at me.

## Teaching point

“when you do something stupid, laugh at life instead of tensing up” (my translation)

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

When you do something silly, don't tighten up and become a difficult person. Laugh with life. If others laugh and you laugh too, the world laughs with you, not at you — and that warm humour is a way of embracing the mess.

## Source

- [Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 28 Nov 2008](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jniaUr_7438) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 39:51 to 40:29: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jniaUr_7438&t=2391s

Other tellings of this story:

- [O radzeniu sobie z trudnymi ludźmi - Ajahn Brahm [LEKTOR PL]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPz6-oAxM7Q) (Sasana.pl) — watch from 39:50 to 40:29: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPz6-oAxM7Q&t=2390s