# The boy who spat on the classroom floor

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-wandsworth-boy-spat
- Themes: understanding, compassion, anger, children
- Life situations: teaching difficult children, dealing with troubled people, domestic violence

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A school friend teaches at a tough comprehensive in Wandsworth around the time of the Brixton riots. A boy spits on the floor in front of him and, told to clean it up, swears at him, so he sends him to the deputy principal. An hour later the deputy returns with his arm around the boy: the night before, the boy's father had viciously beaten his mother, who was in hospital; the police had come and the family was split. “Now you understand why he did that.”

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I recall one of my old school friends. He became a teacher, a school teacher, and he chose one of the worst schools in the whole of England. It was in Wandsworth, Wandsworth Comprehensive School, I think it was. Actually I shouldn't say it's the worst school because the teachers were very motivated. They had some tough kids in that school. That was a suburb of London next to Brixton and it was at that time they had the big Brixton riots in the south of London. So they had some very tough kids in this school. He told the story once that his class of kids came into the classroom one day and one of the kids spat on his feet, on his shoes. Actually, not on his shoes, just on the floor just in front, just after walking in. So he was quite firm, he said, 'Clean that up.' And the kid said, 'Eff off.' Now what would you do as a teacher you know, if somebody did that and swore at you. So he said, 'Go straight to the deputy principal,' who was the disciplinarian. So he sent the kid to the deputy principal. About a half an hour, an hour later, the deputy principal came into the classroom with his arm around this boy. The deputy principal had time to find out what was happening with this kid and found out the night before the father had viciously beaten his mother and she was hospitalised. The police had been around. The whole family had been separated. Here was like a young 11 or 12 year-old who probably hardly slept that night who just witnessed his father and mother, who he depends upon, the mother he loved dearly, just viciously beaten and sent to hospital. He said, 'Now you understand why he did that.'

## Teaching point

If you take time to understand why a person acts as they do, you no longer feel angry.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A boy spat on the classroom floor and swore at his teacher. An hour later the deputy principal walked in with an arm around him: the night before, the boy had watched his father beat his mother into hospital. Behaviour that looks like defiance is often pain without words. Before reacting, find a moment to learn what's really going on.

## Source

- [Freeing Problems With Metta | by Ajahn Brahm | 30 Jan 2009](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OswcrsyGQN0) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 28:17 to 30:19: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OswcrsyGQN0&t=1697s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Expanding Your Views | Ajahn Brahm | 18 April 2008](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJAM2kn9zTI) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 25:23 to 27:24: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJAM2kn9zTI&t=1523s