# Two bad bricks in the wall

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-two-bad-bricks
- Themes: perfectionism, self-criticism, perspective, depression, mistakes
- Life situations: depression, perfectionism, one mistake overshadowing everything, cancer diagnosis, relationship trouble after one fault, suicidal thoughts

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Building the broke new monastery at Serpentine, the ex-physicist monk lays his first brick wall with painstaking perfectionism — then sees two crooked bricks. He wants to dynamite it; for three months he steers visitors away and has nightmares. Then a visitor calls it a beautiful wall: “Yes, I can see the two bad bricks, but I can also see the 998 good bricks as well.”

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

The story of the two bad bricks in the wall, twenty six years ago, twenty seven years ago when we moved to Serpentine to build that monastery down there we had no money, we were broke, and because... we owed money for the land, there were no buildings on that property. So I had to learn how to build. And I was theoretical physicist before, ok, in my head doing sums all day. Now I had to get out there and get my hands dirty and mix concrete and lay bricks and put on a roof and do plumbing. Everything we did. And even to this day, if any of you going into that main hall in our monastery, I am the builder. My name is on the building license for that. And it's still standing so that's pretty good. [LAUGHTER] So in particular, this story I had to learn how to lay bricks. Laying bricks was not a simple thing to do, it may look easy but it's so hard to get everything level. But, as most people would be I was a perfectionist. I had to make sure that brick was perfectly level before I went onto the next one. Sometimes one corner was high, you'd knock it down and another corner would go up. You knock that corner down then it would go out of line. You knock it back into line thinking it was finished, you notice one of the corners was high again. It was just one of those jobs which, where you couldn't get everything in the right place but you kept on trying until you got it. It took a long time but it didn't matter cause I wasn't being paid. So I could take however long I wanted. And when I finished that wall, that first brick wall, like anybody else you were proud, finished, you stood back to look at it and admire it, and it was only then when it was finished I noticed that two bricks were crooked. All the other bricks were straight, two bricks were crooked. So what would you do? What I did was try and scrape the mortar out so I could reset the bricks so they could be perfect. But the mortar was hard, you couldn't scrape it out. And the other monk who was with me at the time, Ajahn Jagaro, I asked him look can we afford, can we please afford some dynamite so I blow it up and start again? Bulldozer would do, push it over. Because...that spoiled the whole wall. Those two bad bricks, they ruined the whole thing. But we couldn't, I was stuck with it, we were too poor to do anything with it. So for three months, every time I went passed that wall I saw my mistakes and I felt so sad. I'd stuffed up. And the worst thing about stuffing up when you're building everybody could see it, you can't hide it. It's a big wall, out there in the open. So, every time there was a visitor, I would actually volunteer to take them around so I could, you know, take them somewhere else so they wouldn't see my mistakes. At night time I'd have nightmares about that wall. I would, I'd dream of it, because I'd really made a big mistake and everybody could see it. And it was three months, roughly, I'm not quite sure it's a long time ago now, about three months somebody else was with me and they saw that wall and they said that's a beautiful wall. And I just couldn't believe what I'd heard because for three months I'd been suffering so much with that wall and they said it's a beautiful wall. My first reaction was to ask them are you visually impaired, are you blind, did you leave your glasses in the car? Can't you see those two bad bricks, the crooked ones. And what they said next just changed much of the way I look at life and stopped a lot of inherent depression in myself. What they said was yes I can see the two bad bricks, but I can also see the nine hundred and ninety eight good bricks as well. And that really hit me, because I realised for three months I was blind. All I ever saw was my two mistakes and I just could not see all the beautiful perfect bricks which I had laid. And when that guy told me what about the nine hundred and ninety eight good bricks that was the first time in three months that I could actually see the bricks above, below, to the left and the right of my two mistakes. And I had to agree with the fellow, it was a beautiful wall, once I could see the whole picture.

## Teaching point

Depression often comes from seeing only our two bad bricks and becoming blind to the 998 good ones.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

We often stare at our two crooked bricks until we want to blow the whole wall up. A kinder look sees the nine hundred and ninety-eight good ones as well — in a project, a relationship, or yourself. Fault-finding blinds you; seeing the whole wall softens depression and perfectionism.

## Source

- [Depression | Ajahn Brahm | 25-06-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N_jjY7W_fs) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 10:31 to 14:55: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N_jjY7W_fs&t=631s

Other tellings of this story:

- [The Fault Finding Mind | Ajahn Brahm | 7 May 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bekYLQ5buRQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 17:45 to 26:15: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bekYLQ5buRQ&t=1065s
- [Meditation Kamma | Ajahn Brahm | 06-06-2008](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3M5Fxmq5c9s) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 15:40 to 16:06: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3M5Fxmq5c9s&t=940s
- [Positive Perspective and Acceptance | Ajahn Brahm | 3 June 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J5YVDTB1bE) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 22:41 to 26:23: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4J5YVDTB1bE&t=1361s
- [How to be Free | Ajahn Brahm | 26 November 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeiRya9-vXc) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 54:46 to 1:00:10: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeiRya9-vXc&t=3286s
- [Living Without Blame | Ajahn Brahm | 05-12-2014](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR5c4h7Tmo0) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 44:42 to 46:35: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR5c4h7Tmo0&t=2682s
- [How to deal with mistakes | Ajahn Brahm | 10-10-2014](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avEojw6wMSs) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 7:48 to 9:28: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avEojw6wMSs&t=468s
- [Ending Conflict | Ajahn Brahm | 22-10-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ6R-MeXNuo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 41:08 to 41:35: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ6R-MeXNuo&t=2468s
- [The Dangers of Complaining | Ajahn Brahm | 1 March 2024](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYLHU0eddYA) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 16:14 to 18:47: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYLHU0eddYA&t=974s
- [Transcending Negativity of Our World | Ajahn Brahm | 12 April 2019](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8WL9MQss2o) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 11:59 to 12:10: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8WL9MQss2o&t=719s
- [Kamma in Buddhism | Ajahn Brahm | 19 July 2024](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWS4doOX25I) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 23:24 to 24:10: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWS4doOX25I&t=1404s
- [New Year's Eve Dhamma Talk | Ajahn Brahm | 31 December 2019](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIzP1mk4rbo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 9:08 to 9:54: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIzP1mk4rbo&t=548s
- [Stress and Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 12 July 2024](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNJGg_XVfvo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 30:42 to 31:45: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNJGg_XVfvo&t=1842s
- [Two Bad Bricks | Ajahn Brahm | 30 December 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Cy9NKk0WM) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 43:06 to 46:54: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Cy9NKk0WM&t=2586s
- [Buddhism and Teenagers | Ajahn Brahm | 27-06-2014](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBHKyAfqfgY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 14:18 to 14:53: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBHKyAfqfgY&t=858s
- [Friday Night Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 12 April 2019](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuRAcMjVqgs) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 47:25 to 52:16: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuRAcMjVqgs&t=2845s
- [Last Clubmed before Rains 2022 - Armadale Meditation Group | Ajahn Brahm | 12 July 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f044xvbwTE) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 6:23 to 6:49: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0f044xvbwTE&t=383s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 12th March 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjzNflvPv8Q) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:05:27 to 1:06:12: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjzNflvPv8Q&t=3927s
- [Hard Questions To A Soft Teacher (2/2) | Ajahn Brahm & Venerable Canda | 7 November 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Qs6v1orD8) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 21:32 to 21:50: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Qs6v1orD8&t=1292s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 14 April 2018](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PfVnsmfGkU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:05:20 to 1:05:36: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PfVnsmfGkU&t=3920s
- [Dhamma Talk in Walpole at Dana | Ajahn Brahm | 21 September 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr1dh26dTYg) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 14:55 to 15:37: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr1dh26dTYg&t=895s
- [guided metta meditation - from Ajahn Brahm's Jan 2012 9 day retreat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ABV4Dp8Dls) (BSWA Retreats 2011-15 & Media) — watch from 5:44 to 6:50: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ABV4Dp8Dls&t=344s
- [Ajahn Sannagui (Santaguy) - Armadale Meditation Group | Ajahn Brahm | 22 December 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F7DOBdWH70) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:08:12 to 1:08:55: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F7DOBdWH70&t=4092s
- [Faith and Relics | Ajahn Brahm | 9 January 2026](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ9hM2PnWTw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 33:54 to 34:46: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQ9hM2PnWTw&t=2034s