# The tomboy who was a boy before

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-tomboy-girl-was-a-boy-before
- Themes: rebirth, children, identity, gender
- Life situations: puzzling child behaviour, grief after a death

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A girl of five or six is a stereotypical tomboy — hangs out with boys, beats them up — and says it is because she was a boy before. Brahm offers it as one of the rebirth cases that softens the pain of loss.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

she was a typical really stereotypical tomboy never like to play with the girls always lose like hang out with the boys and beat them up you know it's only five six years of age really tomboy and it's obvious because you know it was a it was a girl I was a boy before so anyway there are cases like that

## Teaching point

Some children's stubborn identities make more sense if you allow a longer story than one life.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A little girl who preferred the boys' rough games explained simply that she'd been a boy before. Ajahn Brahm shares such stories mainly for grieving parents. Whatever you believe about rebirth, it can soften the cruelty of a young death. The person isn't wasted or gone; they simply have another chance.

## Source

- [Reincarnation | Ajahn Brahm | 3 Feb 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIrtqS0LkYQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 23:13 to 23:40: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIrtqS0LkYQ&t=1393s