# Telling the kids what their dad got up to

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-telling-nephew-what-dad-did
- Themes: family, parenting, humour, honesty
- Life situations: parenting, family visits, hypocrisy

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Visiting his brother, Ajahn Brahm tells his young nephew and niece about all the naughty things their father did at their age; fascinated, they beg for more. Their dad walks in: “What are you telling my children? I've spent years teaching them not to do those things!” — which he knew, because he was there.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I did that to my brother once I was visiting him he had you know a son and a daughter they're about you know six and eight or something and I still my brother was doing something else in his house and I started talking about to my nephew and niece what my brother got up to when he was their age all the naughty things he did and they were really fascinated tell us some more about our dad because he never tells us that foreign and then he came into the room he said what are you telling my children I've been doing all these years trying to teach them not to do those things which he did himself and I knew because I was there at the time

## Teaching point

Don't control people with rules; inspire them, and be honest that everyone was young once.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Ajahn Brahm told his young nephew and niece what their dad had got up to as a boy, and they were enthralled; their father was horrified. Rules and lectures can make children, and adults, tense and secretive. Being honest that you were young once, and inspiring rather than controlling, often teaches more than any list of don'ts.

## Source

- [Relax. Everything's out of control! | by Ajahn Brahm | 26 June 2015](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY6Q-OnMTEE) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 16:18 to 17:04: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY6Q-OnMTEE&t=978s