# On the birth of my son — may he be stupid

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-su-dongpo-poem-stupid-child
- Themes: expectations, parenting, humour, poetry
- Life situations: parenting anxiety, exam pressure

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Ajahn Brahm quotes Su Dongpo (as 'Sung Po'): parents want a child to be intelligent; having wrecked his own life through intelligence, the poet only wishes his son stupid — then he will live a tranquil life and end up a cabinet minister.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

Su Tung-Po, the famous Chinese poet. And if I remember as best I can, it was called 'On the Birth of my Son' that was the title. And it went something like this: "On the birth of a son most parents want them to grow up intelligent. But I hope my son turns out stupid Because I, through intelligence, have wrecked my whole life. If my son is stupid, then he'll have a very tranquil life and complete his peaceful existence by becoming a cabinet minister

## Teaching point

Intelligence without wisdom can wreck a life; lower the expectation of brilliance.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A Chinese poet whose cleverness wrecked his life wished his newborn son would be stupid, so he'd live peacefully and become a cabinet minister. Ajahn Brahm enjoys the dig. Brains bring exams and conceit. Kindness and peace matter more. Ease off on goals that leave you feeling a failure.

## Source

- [Intelligence Is Not Wisdom | Ajahn Brahm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfnXy7xqaSQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 0:21 to 0:59: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfnXy7xqaSQ&t=21s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Lower Your Expectations | Ajahn Brahm | 24 Nov 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qtxgvH_e1Y) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 55:31 to 56:21: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qtxgvH_e1Y&t=3331s