# Dress code: long dress

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-state-dinner-dress-code-long-dress
- Themes: humour, monastic life, fitting in
- Life situations: formal occasions, feeling out of place

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Ajahn Brahm is invited to a state dinner with Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip at Parliament House at the time of the Melbourne Commonwealth Games, under John Howard. He can't eat in the evening, but goes. Then he reads the dress code: black tie (just a tie?), military uniform (he's a pacifist), or — the third option — long dress. So he goes in a long dress, the only thing he has. Security grab him: 'Are you supposed to be in here, sir?' He shows his invitation.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

Or going to that state dinner at Parliament House in Canberra. How many of you been to a state dinner? I have. Could I eat? No, because I can't eat in the evening. Still went though. That beautiful story of how I got the invitation. That was when John Howard, he was the prime minister when Queen Elizabeth for the Melbourne. Is it Commonwealth Games? Yeah. I remember Commonwealth Games. So I went there that one, for the state dinner. I wasn't competing in the Commonwealth Games, although really I should have done the high jump. It's very easy. If you can levitate, you know, just high jump, which should be pretty easy. [laughter] But then, then when you got the invitation, got this big, this is like big invitation dinner with Queen Elizabeth. Woah. And so we've got the card. I think I still got it somewhere. I have to search for it somewhere. But anyway, you are invited to dinner at State Parliament House with Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip, requested company of the Venerable Ajahn Brahmavamso. Wow, how can you refuse that? Until you see the dress code. [Laughter] This is true. I told this story many times, but it's a wonderful story. The first item for dress code, because you can't just walk in there. You gotta have, it's a formal dinner. Crikey. So, the first option of dress was called a black tie. I've never been to a state dinner before. I don't know what they wear. Is that what you wear? Just a tie. No trousers, no shoes. [laughter] It's code. Code means a jacket, nice shoes and trousers and stuff. I can't go wearing that. I haven't got one. And the next, the next option was military uniform. Oh come on, I'm a Buddhist monk, I'm a pacifist, you can't have a military uniform. So I was losing hope. Until I saw the third option. That's right. Long dress. [laughter] So, I walked up in long dress. It's the only thing I had. And then, the security grabbed me. They did. [laughter] They said, "Are you supposed to be in here, sir?" And I got out my invitation. "Yes, I'm supposed to be in here." "Okay, go in."

## Teaching point

Life is fun when you don't find fault with it; even awkward situations become stories.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Invited to a state dinner with the Queen, Ajahn Brahm read the dress code: black tie, military uniform, or long dress. So he went in his long dress, the only thing he had, and security stopped him at the door. He showed his invitation and walked in. Stop finding fault, and awkward moments turn into fun.

## Source

- [The Fault Finding Mind | Ajahn Brahm | 7 May 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bekYLQ5buRQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 48:48 to 51:54: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bekYLQ5buRQ&t=2928s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Making Decisions | Ajahn Brahm | 19 February 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pELi1VJlj-0) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 3:18 to 4:51: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pELi1VJlj-0&t=198s
- [The Joy of Helping Others | Ajahn Brahm | 28 July 2023](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJEFCmolcXo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 44:53 to 45:59: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJEFCmolcXo&t=2693s
- [A Buddhist Guide To Making Difficult Ethical Decisions | Ajahn Brahm | 9 Dec 2016](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX2S29J7s0I) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 11:19 to 13:12: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VX2S29J7s0I&t=679s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 19 May 2018](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGio9AmTEl8) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:10:41 to 1:13:32: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGio9AmTEl8&t=4241s