# I refused my girlfriend's meat curry

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-refused-girlfriends-meat-curry
- Themes: vegetarianism, relationships, regret, kindness
- Life situations: dating, dietary rules

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

As a strict vegetarian layman his girlfriend cooks what she thinks he wants — a meat curry; he refuses; later sees how unkind the refusal was after all her trouble.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

very strict vegetarian when I was before I became a monk and as a monk I was not allowed to choose but when I was a l person I was a very strict vegetarian and my girlfriend invited me out for dinner she was cooking at dinner for me so I went out to sort of have the dinner with her and it was a really like good health food but she'd made a some sort of meat curry you know I refused to eat it and I thought just what a stupid person you are there was your girlfriend and she' gone to all this trouble trying to cook what she thought you wanted and I just refused to eat

## Teaching point

Being right about food can still be wrong about love.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

As a strict vegetarian, young Ajahn Brahm refused the meat curry his girlfriend had lovingly cooked. Today he'd apologise. Rules exist for compassion; being right about food can be wrong about love. Don't push your beliefs on others. Love people as they are, meat-eaters and all.

## Source

- [Living With Non-Buddhists | Ajahn Brahm | 21-01-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PR0w_6F8xDs) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 42:46 to 43:30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PR0w_6F8xDs&t=2566s