# New monks ask mum and dad for forgiveness

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-ordination-ask-parents-forgiveness
- Themes: forgiveness, family, ordination, parents, love
- Life situations: family estrangement, wanting to apologise, parenting adult children

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

At Bodhinyana ordinations the candidates bow three times to their parents and ask forgiveness for everything they did and failed to do growing up. Mothers — and often fathers — tear up; the sincerity of sorry means more than years of ordinary family life.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

when the candidates usually get their mothers and fathers along as well they actually bow down to their mum and their dad give them three bells they never done that when they were their children at home working they bow down to their mum and dad and they say mum dad whatever i've done over the time you've been my parents since the earliest age i ask your forgiveness things which i didn't do which i should have done i'm trying my best please forgive me and you always see especially the mother but often the father as well you'll see tears coming out of their eyes because it's sincere it's honest they realize they always love their children but the fact that their children have the guts and the sincerity to say sorry it's beautiful and in all the years which i've been amok

## Teaching point

A sincere apology can reopen love that everyday life left unspoken.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

At ordinations in Ajahn Brahm's monastery, new monks bow three times to their parents and ask forgiveness for everything they did, or failed to do, growing up. Mothers and fathers often weep. Parents always loved them, but hearing a sincere sorry opens something new. Don't wait for a ceremony to say it.

## Source

- [Kindness, Generosity and Forgiveness | Ajahn Brahm | 8 July 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLrhGW7GEjM) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 18:49 to 20:01: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLrhGW7GEjM&t=1129s