# Let them go to the nightclub with your permission

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-nightclub-trust-the-kids
- Themes: parenting, trust, teenagers
- Life situations: teen nightlife, widowed parenting, learning to trust

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A widowed close disciple worried about her kids wanting nightclubs with drugs and alcohol. He said they will go anyway — better with your permission; trust them. She did; they had a wonderful life and did nothing wrong.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

there was a lady here she lost her husband he's very very close disciple her kids she came up to me once and said they want to go to nightclub and said nightclub you know there's drugs in nightclub alcohol I said look you know your kids are going to go to the nightclub anyway so you might as well let them go and then they go with your permission rather than going against your permission and anyway they're good kids trust them for goodness sake and of course she did trust those kids she followed my advice and the kids had a wonderful life they're doing really really well in life nowadays they didn't go do anything wrong

## Teaching point

Trust teaches trust; forbidding only drives the same behaviour underground.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A widowed mother feared her teenagers' nightclub plans. They'll go anyway, Ajahn Brahm said; better with your blessing. Trust them. She did, and they thrived. Young people learn, sometimes by getting hurt. If they know you'll understand their mistakes, they'll come to you instead of hiding.

## Source

- [Bringing Up Children | Ajahn Brahm | 09-12-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANrqHO24Ttw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 42:57 to 43:36: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANrqHO24Ttw&t=2577s