# Coffee for the new boss

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-new-boss-cup-of-coffee
- Themes: workplace, kindness, perception, difficult people
- Life situations: difficult boss, workplace conflict, colleague promoted over you

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A listener's former colleague is promoted and becomes a harsh, scolding boss. Advised by Ajahn Brahm to look at the boss's beautiful side, the woman goes up to her and simply asks, “Do you want a cup of coffee? I'm just going down to the coffee machine.” The boss is taken aback.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

recently somebody said I'm sure they're probably here but I can't remember it was last week or two weeks ago they say they tried this with their boss in the office they just got a new boss actually the new boss was was one of their colleagues before now got promoted it's amazing when someone gets promoted they actually change from being a friend to being like a Margaret Thatcher uh you know I always remember Margaret Thatcher she said cabinet ministers there are some you can beat down there are some you can wear down and the others you grind down that's a really amazing woman grinding cabinet ministers down wo but there are some people like that in your office but instead of looking at that aspect of her boss I told her to look at her beautiful side and so this amazing woman she went to her and the boss usually being scouting at her and complaining just asked her do you want a cup of coffee I'm just going down to the coffee machine and the boss was so taken back apparently changing the attitude to a person looking at the kindness

## Teaching point

There are no difficult people, only how we perceive them; look for the beauty and they show it back.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Her friend became her boss and turned harsh, so the woman looked for the boss's better side and simply offered to fetch her a coffee. The boss was taken aback. A difficult person is often how we've been seeing them. Look for something good and offer a small kindness; people tend to show it back.

## Source

- [Develop Your Heart | Ajahn Brahm | 2 Dec 2016](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqwCXGkmSy0) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 19:54 to 21:13: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqwCXGkmSy0&t=1194s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Develop Your Heart |Ajahn Brahm | 2 Dec 2016](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UDa1XujJow) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 20:16 to 21:03: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UDa1XujJow&t=1216s