# The woman who refused to go back

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-nde-lady-refuses-to-go-back
- Themes: near-death experience, death, humour, fear of death
- Life situations: fear of death, grief for someone who died, terminal illness

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A woman who dies on the operating table meets a spirit telling her it isn't her time; she refuses — she's having too good a time — until the spirit throws her back into her aching body. In an interview she vows to find that spirit when she dies and do the same to him.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

there's this one lady who died on the operating table and so she left her body looking at her body over there just a mess so off she went but apparently that she described it as meeting some Spirit and the spirit saying you know it's it's not your time you know you got to go back and she said no way I'm having too good a time I don't want to go back sorry and the spirit said but you have to go back I don't care about that I'm not going you know like people are pretty independent these days and you know you don't actually do what you're told by your parents or by the government or by God or anybody so Spirits you know go and get lost I'm having a good time so that degree of Independence know she didn't want to sort of go anywhere until eventually having this argument you you got to go back no way apparently she described because obviously she did go back that's why she could tell this story this Spirit sort of got hold of her and threw her back into her body and it just had all this aches and pains and heaviness again and she was really pissed off of that spirit I mean really big time so when she gave this interview said now when I die next time of course I would die eventually I'm going to find that guy and I you do know what I'm going to do to that guy what he did to me that's how you described it

## Teaching point

Near-death accounts consistently describe dying as pleasant and free — which can take away fear of death.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

She was having such a good time after dying on the operating table that she argued with the spirit who sent her back, and vowed to return the favour one day. It's told as a funny story and a reported experience, not proven fact. Its comfort is that many such accounts describe peace rather than terror, which may ease a little of our fear of death.

## Source

- [What Happens After You Die? | Ajahn Brahm | 08-04-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZZupDuprhU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 28:38 to 30:02: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZZupDuprhU&t=1718s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Happiness and Wanting | Ajahn Brahm | 24 February 2023](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taAa3uWPm2o) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 22:11 to 24:23: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taAa3uWPm2o&t=1331s
- [Day 3 Morning talk on Stillness Nov 2013 Ajahn Brahm Retreat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsU2mJ0_9us) (BSWA Retreats 2011-15 & Media) — watch from 44:51 to 45:45: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsU2mJ0_9us&t=2691s
- [14 Enlightenment - November 2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS6WOsnoiwc) (BSWA Retreats 2011-15 & Media) — watch from 16:52 to 18:13: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS6WOsnoiwc&t=1012s