# The soldier who refused at My Lai

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-my-lai-soldier-refused
- Themes: ethics, conscience, war, courage
- Life situations: being ordered to do wrong, moral dilemmas, peer pressure at work

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A documentary on an anniversary of the My Lai massacre traces the American soldiers ordered to kill every man, woman and child in the village. Though pardoned, they live with broken relationships, poor health and no happiness. One Black soldier refused the order, knowing the consequence, and spent three or four years in a brutal military jail. Of them all, he alone has a happy life at peace with himself. Asked why he refused: “Simply because I knew it was wrong. I just had to follow what my heart told me.”

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

There was a nice anecdote about that. This is a good one. Just about last year sometime there was it must have been the 25th anniversary of the ... must be about 40th or 50th anniversary or 50th anniversary of the My Lai massacre in Vietnam. I remember that ... 40th or something, anniversary of this terrible event in the Vietnam War, because you know, I was growing up at this time, I was protesting against that war as a student. I remember that group of American soldiers were ordered to go into this village of My Lai to kill every man, woman and child. No one was an exception... And that is just evil, that's wrong. And they went into this village to kill and this documentary was tracing the soldiers who had participated in that event. And all those people even though they were given pardons by the American government. The very fact that's what they did caused huge psychological and social problems. You've gone in and killed, like, just a mother. You've shot a kid, five or six year old. Even though you were ordered to do that, That leaves huge scars and you pay for that. You can't have a relationship, you can't sort of have good health. You can't have happiness. But there was one soldier, there's always one or two who stand out. It was a black African soldier who refused. He refused the order to go in and kill. Now what he thought was women and children, they've got nothing to do with the war. He refused the order. He knew what would happen. He was put in military jail for 3 or 4 years for refusing to obey an order. Military jails in the United States, and that's 60, 70s were far worse than civilian jails. I think many of you know what civilian jails are like in United States. It's totally different than sort of jails here in Perth today. That was a very tough place, a very painful place to be for 3 or 4 years. And he knew what he was doing, by refusing the order he knew this was the consequence. But he had to do it and he endured those three or four years. But of all the people, he was the only person who had a life, who was happy and at peace with himself. When the interviewer asked him; so I was told, 'How come you did that? How come you refuse an order while all your fellows, your friends, your comrades went in there and killed? And you knew what was going to happen to you? Why did you do that?' He said, 'simply because I knew it was wrong. I just had to follow what my heart told me. And I did that; I had to.

## Teaching point

Ethical strength comes from listening to your heart, not from authority or orders.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Of all the soldiers ordered into My Lai, as Ajahn Brahm recalls the documentary, only the one who refused and went to military jail found peace afterwards. Orders and rulebooks did not protect the others. Faced with a hard ethical choice, he says, don't look for an authority to decide for you. Ask your heart; that is where the truth lies.

## Source

- [Buddhism and Atheism | Ajahn Brahm | 16-04-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRutmoPEWaQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 38:34 to 41:39: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRutmoPEWaQ&t=2314s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Emotional Intelligence and Acceptance | Ajahn Brahm | 19 May 2023](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejSaOOQ3VrY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:00:48 to 1:02:33: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejSaOOQ3VrY&t=3648s
- [Word of the Buddha (part 12) | Ajahn Brahm | 13 May 2018](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrhzQgXMJ24) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:18:51 to 1:20:30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrhzQgXMJ24&t=4731s