# The man who cried for the moon

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-man-who-cried-for-the-moon
- Themes: grief, acceptance, death
- Life situations: death of a child, prolonged grief, loss of a loved one

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A father weeps every evening at his son's cremation ground; his family hires an actor who weeps louder, 'for the moon'. When the father calls him crazy, the actor answers that at least the moon can be seen — where is the dead son? The father stops grieving and returns to life.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

it's a man who cried for the moon. A man who lost his only son, and would go to the cremation ground every evening to cry and cry and cry, and his family let him cry for a while. But when he was crying overmuch they wanted to find some way of overcoming his grief which was going on far too long, ruining his health and his business as I've seen happen. They hired an actor and the actor went to the cremation ground also, and the actor was crying more than the father who'd lost his son. When they met together, these two men crying their eyes out, the actor crying more, the actor asked, "what are you crying for?" He said, "I've lost my son. He's dead..". "What are you crying for," said the father to the actor. "I'm crying for the moon". "What do you mean, crying for the moon?" "It's my birthday last week, and my father asked me - what do you want? And I said I want the moon please. And my father wouldn't get it for me, and I'm so upset.. I'm crying for the moon." And the father said, "You're stupid. You're crazy! Why are you crying for? No-one can give you the moon!" "You call me crazy," said the actor, "You're crying for your dead son. At least you can see the moon! Where is your dead son?" [laughter]. And at that, this is a story, an old story, in the Buddhist texts, at that, the man realised what he was doing, he was crying for something you can never get. Grieving for something which you can't change. And that was enough for him to stop his grief, go back to work, and move on with his life.

## Teaching point

Grieving for what can never be had is like crying for the moon.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Grief for a child is natural, and no one should hurry it. The family only stepped in when the father's sorrow was ruining his health and work, and a stranger crying for the moon helped him see what he was reaching for. When you are ready, honouring someone you have lost can include going gently back to life.

## Source

- [Dealing with Emotions | Ajahn Brahm | 15-06-2007](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17_TtOysQOA) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:06:11 to 1:08:13: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17_TtOysQOA&t=3971s