# The Playboy at the traffic lights

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-leach-highway-playboy
- Themes: provocation, humour, equanimity
- Life situations: being mocked by strangers, provocation, teasing

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

On a 40-degree day in the old Kombi with the windows down, young men in the next car on Leach Highway jeer at the robed monk, then at a red light hold up a Playboy to wind him up. He laughs — and insists he didn't look; he knows what it was because his driver looked and told him.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

Like that time on Leech highway. If you know Leech highway it was a three-lane highway on both sides, a medium strip was hardly anything there. But anyway, in one of these hot days in summer. 40 degrees plus. And we had this old combi van, the old VW van. I was in the passenger seat, one of the anagarikas was the driver. We were driving along there with the windows down because no aircon. Windows down trying to get a bit of breeze to keep cool. And these this car full of you know, young men maybe about 19, 20. They saw me in this car, this weird guy, bald head, brown robes. They decide to have some fun. So they drove alongside of us and they said “ah! Get your hair cut!” you know, “get a proper job your bludger!” all that sort of stuff you know, which people do. But then when we got to the lights, red lights, they came right next to us. They had a couple of minutes. So there's one of the guys there you know, he was in the driver's seat you know, he took his hands off the wheel, he got out a magazine. He was going to me and I was in the passenger seat. So I had a look and you know what it was? Playboy! He said “Playboy magazine.” they were just trying to wind a monk up. At least he knew I was celibate. And now what did I do? Did I get embarrassed? Of course not. I'd started laughing but did I look? No, of course that I'm a good monk. So how did I notice it was Playboy magazine? Because my driver looked and told me. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

## Teaching point

Don't let other people control your happiness; laugh rather than be embarrassed.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

On a scorching day, young men jeered at a monk in an old Kombi and then waved a magazine to wind him up. He laughed, admitted he'd have done the same at their age, and kept his peace. Let the heckling pass. People who try to provoke you only win if you hand them control of your mood.

## Source

- [How To Not Have Any Stress | Ajahn Brahm | 12 May 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJSxDv4XrY4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 28:37 to 30:16: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJSxDv4XrY4&t=1717s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Relax. Everything's out of control! | by Ajahn Brahm | 26 June 2015](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY6Q-OnMTEE) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 11:51 to 13:51: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zY6Q-OnMTEE&t=711s
- [I Don't Own My Past | by Ajahn Brahm | 03 May 2013](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcSaCfuH-GU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 29:22 to 31:10: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcSaCfuH-GU&t=1762s
- [Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 09-07-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 36:39 to 38:07: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo&t=2199s
- [Buddhism and Love | Ajahn Brahm | 12 February 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtNwbOd4m9I) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 23:38 to 24:23: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtNwbOd4m9I&t=1418s
- [Practical Buddhist Principles | Ajahn Brahm | 12 April 2024](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3JFSOG6DzY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 58:19 to 59:31: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3JFSOG6DzY&t=3499s