# Calendar method — odd days she is right

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Joke
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-joke-calendar-method-marriage-harmony
- Themes: joke, marriage, harmony, humour, relationships
- Life situations: marriage, conflict

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Marriage-harmony joke: on odd days of the month the wife is always right; on even days the husband is. No need to argue — check the calendar. Fair, fair, as they say in Indonesia.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I always tell this story when I do weddings, another wedding tomorrow afternoon. There's no way you can convince someone they're wrong, so how can you actually make a decision and actually get on in life but not always having to submit. That really sucks doesn't it? He's always right, why do I always have to agree with him? Why does she always have to be right? So the calendar method, the solution, which allows people to live harmoniously with their partners, the calendar method is that when you have an argument, don't argue who's right and wrong! Let the calendar decide! On the odd days of the month she is right. [laughter] The girl is always right on the odd days of the month. On the even days he is right. So that's fair. Today is the 19th, so today all the girls are right! Yay! Be careful, tomorrow he is right. [laughter] That way you don't have to argue anymore. The calendar decides who's right without any arguments and you can make a decision. It's never that bad if the other person makes a decision, not you, at least it's fair. And people have already figured out, you girls have already figured out, you get more days right a year than he does. Only about four or five, but guys, give it to them, it's worth it. The trouble is, people say, what happens if you're in a gay relationship? [laughter] Then you've got me stumped, it doesn't work. Both of you are right on one day, the next day both of you are wrong

## Teaching point

Sometimes the fight ends when you stop needing to win every day.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Ajahn Brahm's recipe for marital harmony: on odd days of the month the wife is right, on even days the husband. No need to argue; check the calendar. She gets a few more days a year, so give them to her. When someone insists you're wrong, you don't have to fight it. Let them say it, and let it go.

## Source

- [Menangani Kelelahan | Ajahn Brahm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOBRm2Qb9ew) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 52:06 to 54:06: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOBRm2Qb9ew&t=3126s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Meaning of Vesak Day | Ajahn Brahm | 9 May 2025](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrK1YZ_Kn5c) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 18:33 to 19:35: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrK1YZ_Kn5c&t=1113s
- [Wie man mit Müdigkeit umgeht | Ajahn Brahm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC7qMBilP9M) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 52:06 to 54:03: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC7qMBilP9M&t=3126s