# Why the bride wears white

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Joke
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-joke-bride-wears-white
- Themes: humour, marriage, expectations
- Life situations: weddings, marriage

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Wedding joke he tells at ceremonies: why does the bride wear white and the groom black? White is the symbol of purity — so now you understand why the groom wears black. Another answer he heard: because all domestic appliances are white. He says he's being fair — first a dig at the boys, then the girls.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

one of the jokes was now why is it in a marriage that the bride wears white and the groom wears black and the answer is you know this is the answer I've told before it's because why is a symbol of Purity and that's the bride so now you understand why the boy wears black but I heard another another reason why the why the the bride wears white at a at a wedding ceremony and that's because all domestic appliances are white

## Teaching point

A light joke about how desires and expectations bend what we see in marriage.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Ajahn Brahm teases the groom at weddings, then the bride, and insists he's being fair. The jokes lead somewhere serious. Desire and dislike bend what we see. Couples begin with unreal expectations of each other. Base your relationships on who people really are, and you'll suffer far less.

## Source

- [Get Real | Ajahn Brahm | 12-06-2009](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1o51NPCk-U) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 11:43 to 12:29: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1o51NPCk-U&t=703s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Vesak Day (Evening) | 19 May 2024](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8FTmDTJLoA) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 52:17 to 52:41: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8FTmDTJLoA&t=3137s