# Mortal enemies who go out to dinner

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-jerry-hansen-kevin-reynolds-dinner
- Themes: conflict, friendship, politics, unions, respect
- Life situations: workplace conflict, public disagreement

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Jerry Hansen, who built the retreat centre, told Ajahn Brahm he would fight publicly with union representative Kevin Reynolds for the media, then go out to dinner in the evening — mortal enemies in the newspaper, friends at the table. Brahm admires the pattern (and half-jokes he may get in trouble for repeating it).

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I remember know this I don't mind saying he told me this you know the fellow who built our Retreat Center Jerry Hansen you know he had his fights with Kevin Reynolds you know with the the union sort of Representative but he told me Percy said I yeah and we have these fights you know for the media but then we go out for dinner in the evening quite quite admired that you know the sort of you know what the what the newspaper say is mortal enemies but you know then they sort of they have dinner again they s establish a friendship

## Teaching point

Public combat can still sit inside private friendship — the dinner afterwards matters.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A business leader told Ajahn Brahm that he and a union boss fought fiercely in the newspapers, then went out to dinner together that evening. Ajahn Brahm admired it. Opponents in public can still be friends in private. Disagree as strongly as you like. Share a meal afterwards.

## Source

- [Understanding Arguments | Ajahn Brahm | 15-04-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDgBfvFv-54) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 55:49 to 56:26: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDgBfvFv-54&t=3349s