# Grandmother with dementia still knew the monk

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-grandmother-dementia-recognised-the-monk
- Themes: family, dementia, love, death
- Life situations: visiting grandparents, dementia care

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Near the end, grandmother has long dementia; in a UK ward she recognises Brahm at once while barely recognising his brother.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

many years ago now eight nine years ago when she finally passed away she had dementia for such a long time and once she passed away it was a kind of I felt kind of relieved and happy for her. If you ever seen people with like dementia that they can't sometimes they don't remember who you are. I always thought that I don't know there wasn't that many. In fact, I was the only one who went into the the the old people's dementia ward or Alzheimer's ward know with a bald head and a brown robe. I thought at least she can remember me cuz I was different than everybody else. But no, she didn't even remember me at all. But I do recall when my uh my grandmother had dementia too. I remember when I went to go and see her in a sort of a ward in UK just outside of London. When I went in to see her, I went in with her with my brother. My brother lives in London. And so he was looking after her, going to visit her every week. And I'd only go once every three or four years whenever I could get into England because I was in a busy year. I remember just going to see my grandmother and as soon as she saw me, she recognized me straight away

## Teaching point

Love can outlast the names dementia steals.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

His brother visited their grandmother every week, yet she greeted Ajahn Brahm, visiting rarely from Australia, at once, and asked his brother who he was. Unfair, but funny. When his own mother died after Alzheimer's, he felt she'd been released from a prison. Love runs deeper than memory. Keep visiting anyway.

## Source

- [Finding the Truth | Ajahn Brahm | 31 March 2023](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npixvAjZ5to) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 5:58 to 7:21: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npixvAjZ5to&t=358s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Humoristic Buddhism| Ajahn Brahm | 31 March 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIg4F99Manc) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 7:00 to 7:40: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIg4F99Manc&t=420s