# His grandfather said you're stupid

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-grandfather-said-youre-stupid
- Themes: children, criticism, self-esteem, teachers
- Life situations: child struggling at school, regretting harsh words, encouraging a child

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A brilliant monk in the monastery did terribly at school because his beloved grandfather once looked at his results and said 'you're stupid'. He believed it and stopped trying; everything else in his life is excellent. Ajahn Brahm says if the grandfather had not said that, he would have gone to university.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

one day his grandfather took him aside saw his school results so far and said you're stupid and he loved his grandfather so much he believed it and he said from that moment on sort of he didn't do what at school at all everything else is brilliant if his grandfather hadn't said that he'd have been at University he's a very smart Monk

## Teaching point

A single trusted verdict can imprison a child's mind for years.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A brilliant monk did badly at school after his beloved grandfather glanced at his report and called him stupid. He believed it, and stopped trying. One careless sentence can shape a child for years. Praise and encourage young people generously. They really are listening, even when they pretend not to be.

## Source

- [Bringing Up Children | Ajahn Brahm | 09-12-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANrqHO24Ttw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 36:40 to 37:10: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANrqHO24Ttw&t=2200s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Buddhism and Teenagers | Ajahn Brahm | 27-06-2014](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBHKyAfqfgY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 58:37 to 59:24: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBHKyAfqfgY&t=3517s