# 'George, you stupid man'

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-george-bullied-husband-misses-her
- Themes: attachment, marriage, grief, adaptation
- Life situations: difficult marriage, bereavement, verbal abuse

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A woman who came to the Perth centre always belittled her husband in public — 'George, come over here. George, you stupid man.' Ajahn Brahm felt sorry for George, bullied and harassed. When she died he asked George whether he must be relieved. 'No,' George said, 'I miss her so much.'

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

There's this lady who's to come here and she would always she would always just embarrass her husband every time they came here. And I think, "Sir, I don't somebody may remember." It was It's George, George, come over here. George, you stupid man. George, George. And I always felt so sorry for George. And he was intimidated, he was bullied, he was harassed. And eventually, she passed away. When she passed away, I asked George afterwards, "Oh, you must be so relieved." He says, "No, I miss her so much." It's amazing what we get attached to.

## Teaching point

We adapt to and become attached to what we have, even the difficult parts; make the best of what life gives.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A woman scolded her husband George in public for years, and when she died Ajahn Brahm assumed he'd be relieved. George said he missed her terribly. We get attached even to the hard parts of life, just as people miss the noise of a highway. How adaptable we are. Make the best of what you have.

## Source

- [Learn to Not Blame Yourself | Ajahn Brahm | 25 May 2018](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNBuRBzCJrY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 34:09 to 34:57: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNBuRBzCJrY&t=2049s