# The celibate monk at the Gay Pride breakfast

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-gay-pride-breakfast-celibate
- Themes: standing up for others, LGBTQ inclusion, criticism, humour
- Life situations: standing up for a minority, disagreeing with an authority, being criticised for speaking out

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

When the Sunday Telegraph quotes the Dalai Lama as saying you can't be both Buddhist and gay, Ajahn Brahm writes a letter to the paper saying that's wrong; it is published. Some reply that you can't criticise the Dalai Lama — but anyone can be criticised, he says; principles matter more than persons. His 'reward' is an invitation to the Gay Pride breakfast, where he tells the gathering: you're all gay, but I'm more deviant than any of you — I'm celibate.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I remember standing up for the gay community when an article appeared in the newspaper—it began in the Sunday Telegraph, which quoted the Dali Llama as saying you can't be a Buddhist and a gay at the same time. That's wrong. I can't allow that. So I wrote a letter to the newspaper and it got published. And I got some sort of comments, "you cannot criticise the Dali Llama", but you can criticise anybody, you can crticise me— I get it wrong sometimes. There's no person in this world who can't be criticised, and that's not being disrespectful— more important that the person is the truth, compassion. We don't worship people, we worship principles, so I stood up for the gay community and I was very happy. I got some comments back which were negative, but my reward for that was being invited to the Gay Pride breakfast. (LAUGHTER) I was very proud of that award. I always remember that—it was really good fun: rocking up to this Gay Pride breakfast and saying a few words—I remember what I said, I said, "In this whole meeting over here, you're all gay, but I'm more deviant than any one of you: I'm celibate.

## Teaching point

Stand up for what is compassionate and true, whoever you have to disagree with; we worship principles, not people.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

He disagreed in print with a newspaper's report of the Dalai Lama's words, and his reward was a Gay Pride breakfast, where he announced he was the most deviant person in the room: celibate. Ajahn Brahm can stand up for what he thinks is kind and true and still make everyone laugh. Principles matter more than persons, and a joke helps them land.

## Source

- [Change | Ajahn Brahm | 17 December 2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgeXSJr9a4E) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 22:25 to 23:36: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgeXSJr9a4E&t=1345s

Other tellings of this story:

- [The Buddhist Attitude to Sensuality | Ajahn Brahm | 19-01-2007](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV1f4G-hiDw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 45:29 to 46:00: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV1f4G-hiDw&t=2729s
- [Hissing But Not Biting | Ajahn Brahm | 11-03-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzIzr7tJH7Q) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 33:03 to 33:52: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzIzr7tJH7Q&t=1983s
- [Power of Kindness | Ajahn Brahm | 22 October 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHXlaUjymZU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:28:26 to 1:29:53: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHXlaUjymZU&t=5306s
- [16 Non-Self (Anatta)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wkd4vOCE-XU) (BSWA Retreats 2011-15 & Media) — watch from 43:41 to 44:01: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wkd4vOCE-XU&t=2621s
- [Kindness is Important in Buddhist Communities | Ajahn Brahm | 11 February 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-4nWSXSgVk) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:15:04 to 1:15:31: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-4nWSXSgVk&t=4504s
- [Terminal Lucidity | Ajahn Brahm | 1 December 2023](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyKxtE_U-t4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 46:09 to 47:22: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyKxtE_U-t4&t=2769s