# He almost bought lunch for the lady who looked like Mum

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-food-court-old-lady-like-mum
- Themes: compassion, regret, mothers, generosity, rules
- Life situations: missing a chance to help, overthinking kindness

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Stuck out of the monastery before noon, he queues at a food court behind a little old pensioner who looks like his late mother. He wants his attendant to buy her meal from society money, stops himself thinking of the rules — and still regrets losing the compassionate impulse.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I remember going to a food court and the person in front of me you I was with the anara the the the attendant holding the M the person in front of me with this very old lady and she was ordering herself I think a roast meal and as soon as I saw her I thought of my old mother cuz you know she she looked about the same size the same type of curly hair and this little old lady a pensioner was just trying to get her lunch and nice probably treat for her and as soon as I saw her now the thought was in my mind I know this and I shouldn't do this I know this is not my Mindy but I wanted to ask the fellow with me you know you buy a her meal you know I want to sort of donate it because it was like my mom and you just I felt really sad and that was one moment I said no you're not really supposed to do that it's not my money it's a Buddhist society's money and I really regret that you know I think I should have done that because I thought of the consequences I lost my compassion

## Teaching point

When the heart says give, overthinking the consequences can steal the kindness.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Queuing at a food court behind a frail pensioner who looked like his late mother, Ajahn Brahm wanted to buy her lunch, then talked himself out of it. He still regrets it. When a kind impulse is clearly good, don't overthink the consequences. Make this moment good, and the future looks after itself.

## Source

- [In Between | Ajahn Brahm | 27-05-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uln6baN98g) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 11:17 to 12:18: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uln6baN98g&t=677s