# Why he felt no grief: his father's death and the great concert

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Analogy
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-fathers-death-like-a-great-concert
- Themes: grief, gratitude, impermanence, death of a parent
- Life situations: bereavement, loss of a parent, end of a relationship

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Ajahn Brahm's father, whom he loved very much, died when he was 16, and he couldn't understand why he felt no grief. Years later as a monk he reflected on it and saw the feeling was just like the end of a great concert — Led Zeppelin, Rod Stewart, early Deep Purple. He never cried after a concert; he felt how lucky he was to have been there. He hadn't lost anything; he had gained all those years with his father.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

When my father died, you've heard of this before, this is a beautiful story. When my father died at 16, I never cried, never cried since and I've loved my father very much. I've told many stories about him. The reason I never cried, really, I couldn't understand. I was only 16 years of age. Later on, I contemplated my emotions. Because alone, you've got more time to spend, you know, to contemplate how you feel, what the emotion is, why it is, where it comes from. That's what meditation does, it really gets you very aware of your emotional world and so when I found out what I felt, I realized the emotion I felt of my father's death, funeral and afterwards, was exactly the same as another emot

## Teaching point

Endings can be met with gratitude rather than grief: 'Thank you for being with me for such a long time.'

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Ajahn Brahm loved his father, who died when he was sixteen, and puzzled for years over why he felt no grief. In meditation he recognised the feeling: it was how he felt leaving a great rock concert. Never sad it ended, just lucky to have been there. Meet endings with gratitude. Thank you for being with me so long.

## Source

- [Unresolved Issues | Ajahn Brahm | 04-04-2014](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP0VC-Nx0DA) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 21:49 to 22:34: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP0VC-Nx0DA&t=1309s

Other tellings of this story:

- [The Nature of Suffering | Ajahn Brahm | 10 February 2023](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwvMmZICc1Y) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 11:11 to 15:30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwvMmZICc1Y&t=671s
- [The Dangers of Fear | Ajahn Brahm | 4 November 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9QrmkzlBgE) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 52:40 to 53:51: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9QrmkzlBgE&t=3160s
- [Detachment | Ajahn Brahm | 18th March 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xig9D9B8XHQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:00:03 to 1:01:14: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xig9D9B8XHQ&t=3603s
- [Ownership and Anger| Ajahn Brahm | 14 February 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adpMTYPFELs) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 28:46 to 37:53: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adpMTYPFELs&t=1726s
- [Meaning of Life | Ajahn Brahm | 21 February 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nHnVOw9lWg) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 14:57 to 17:13: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nHnVOw9lWg&t=897s
- [Death and Grief | Ajahn Brahm | 30 November 2018](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUJDS3nEwOU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:22:19 to 1:23:37: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUJDS3nEwOU&t=4939s
- [Hard Questions To A Soft Teacher (1/2) | Ajahn Brahm & Venerable Canda | 27-06-2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6vs0bptc9g) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:21:19 to 1:22:01: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6vs0bptc9g&t=4879s
- [Is religion no better than Prozac? | Ajahn Brahm | 06-06-2014](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPhlS0bllPU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 23:45 to 25:34: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPhlS0bllPU&t=1425s
- [Two Bad Bricks | Ajahn Brahm | 30 December 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Cy9NKk0WM) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:09:43 to 1:12:03: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Cy9NKk0WM&t=4183s
- [Importance of Being Able to Ask Questions | Ajahn Brahm | 11 January 2019](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0lzUMdwFEs) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:01:20 to 1:02:40: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0lzUMdwFEs&t=3680s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 12 June 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI-BMC_eqwk) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:16:45 to 1:18:08: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QI-BMC_eqwk&t=4605s
- [Ajahn Brahm's Personal Experience of Grief | Ajahn Brahm | 22 May 2026](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4qA0xho_oM) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 9:10 to 9:53: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4qA0xho_oM&t=550s