# Dad always lost at cards on purpose

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-father-lost-at-cards-on-purpose
- Themes: fatherhood, time, pocket money, love
- Life situations: busy parents, wanting more time with kids

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Poor though he was, his father gave pocket money by playing cards with the boys and always losing on purpose — so they spent an hour or two with him and left with the money. The time mattered more than the cash.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

where we got our pocket money from we used to play little games of cards you know for money you know it was gambling but he would always lose he'd always lose on purpose cuz you know we knew I know from my brother and I that's the way we get our pocket money we'd have to spend an hour or two with our dad you know playing cards and we'd always win he'd always lose every time and we'd love that CU we know it was only fun in games it wasn't I and he know he always lost on purpose cuz that was the way he'd give his kids pocket money but we'd have to spend an hour or two of his of our time with him as well I love those occasions so it wasn't just okay here's know $10 or $20 it was actually spending time with our dad and then we got the money that's a beautiful thing thing to do and you know there the money wasn't that important it was important to me as a kid but what's really important was actually spending time with your mom and dad

## Teaching point

The gift inside the pocket money was time with Dad.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Poor as he was, Ajahn Brahm's dad paid pocket money by playing cards with his boys and losing on purpose. They won the coins, but what they treasured was the hour with him. Children don't bring themselves up. They need your time, more than your money. Sometimes that means taking time off work.

## Source

- [Bringing Up Children | Ajahn Brahm | 09-12-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANrqHO24Ttw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 55:59 to 56:57: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANrqHO24Ttw&t=3359s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Gaming Not Gambling | Ajahn Brahm | 16-11-2012](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pry4ilLMMNY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 20:43 to 21:17: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pry4ilLMMNY&t=1243s