# “The door of my house will always be open to you”

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-father-door-of-my-house-open
- Themes: unconditional love, fathers, forgiveness, self-love
- Life situations: remembering a parent, parenting, estranged children, self-forgiveness

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Remembering his father, dead almost 50 years, at a Thai New Year merit ceremony: when he was 13, his poor father stopped his old green second-hand car near Churchfield Road in Acton, turned round and said: 'Son, whatever you do in your life, wherever you go, however you turn out, the door of my house will always be open to you.' Years later as a young monk in Thailand he understood: it was the door of his father's heart — unconditional love.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

At least I remembered my mother and especially my father just how much he taught me. Even though he's been dead 50 years now, actually 50 years next month. I'll never forget him, never will. Especially some of the beautiful things he said to me. One of which was that great story which fits in here. Taking me aside in his old second-hand, just about managing to go, car, it would probably be banned from the roads if it was on the roads in West Australia these days. He was a very poor man. Taking me aside, I still remember the place, in Acton, just off Churchfield Road, I remember it just to this day. I'm looking at it now, even the colour of the car was green. And he stopped the car, turned around to me and he said, son, whatever happens to you in your life; I was about 13 at the time. whatever happens to you in your life, however you turn out, please I want you to remember this. You know I did remember this so clearly. He said, whatever you do in your life, wherever you go, however you turn out, the door of my house will always be open to you. It will always be open to you. I'll never shut the door in your face. You always welcome. Only 13. Didn't really understand how deep that meaning was. Only later on when you became a monk. One of the nice things about being a monk or a nun, especially as the young monk or nun, you have so much time, you can reflect, figure things out, understand what these things mean. And that's where, in Thailand, I remembered that and understood what it meant was the door of his heart was open to me. Not his house, his heart. Oh that was such a beautiful, beautiful teaching. It was unconditional love. Telling me, son, whatever you do, you turn out to be a criminal, you turn out to be something which most people will be embarrassed about, but not me. The door of my heart is always open to you. You're my son, that's enough. Whatever you do.

## Teaching point

Unconditional love: the door of my heart is open to you, whatever you do — and to yourself.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Ajahn Brahm's father meant more than an open front door: the door of the heart. Offer that unconditional welcome to others — and, in a quiet moment, to yourself. Whoever you are, whatever you've done, the door of your heart can stay open to you.

## Source

- [Am I Good Enough? | Ajahn Brahm | 28 April 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2mWuCk70Ck) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 44:25 to 46:42: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2mWuCk70Ck&t=2665s

Other tellings of this story:

- [How to Be Happy in Solitude | Ajahn Brahm | 1 February 2019](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e-XqXPvmFo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 17:24 to 18:19: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e-XqXPvmFo&t=1044s
- [Loving Life, Loving-Kindness | by Ajahn Brahm | 20 Feb 2009](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj98u8peZOU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 26:14 to 29:14: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dj98u8peZOU&t=1574s
- [Forms of Love In Buddhism | Ajahn Brahm | 26-11-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvo5G0WbWSs) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 27:41 to 28:40: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvo5G0WbWSs&t=1661s
- [Wanting For Nothing | by Ajahn Brahm | 02-10-2012](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JXoSyx-G-Q) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 24:04 to 25:53: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JXoSyx-G-Q&t=1444s
- [Skillful Speech | Ajahn Brahm | 03-07-2009](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92eeS7ZGwlE) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 47:57 to 48:42: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92eeS7ZGwlE&t=2877s
- [Power of Kindness | Ajahn Brahm | 22 October 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHXlaUjymZU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 55:30 to 56:18: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHXlaUjymZU&t=3330s
- [Expectations | Ajahn Brahm | 15 April 2016](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV0wiAuOqik) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 46:20 to 46:59: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV0wiAuOqik&t=2780s
- [Bringing Up Children | Ajahn Brahm | 09-12-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANrqHO24Ttw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 50:11 to 50:30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANrqHO24Ttw&t=3011s
- [Water the Flowers | Ajahn Brahm | 12 January 2024](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjgDjKn292w) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 33:51 to 34:32: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjgDjKn292w&t=2031s
- [New Year's Eve Dhamma Talk | Ajahn Brahm | 31 December 2018](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM-MDJW2lCQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 35:25 to 36:02: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM-MDJW2lCQ&t=2125s
- [The Middle Way of Wealth | Ajahn Brahm | 26 January 2024](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnYkOjzYQgU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 33:00 to 33:16: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnYkOjzYQgU&t=1980s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 10 October 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF5uJU7IR_o) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 6:03 to 6:27: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF5uJU7IR_o&t=363s
- [Is Buddhism a religion? | Ajahn Brahm | 5 Feb 2016](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNYz9hy5hi8) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 58:03 to 58:38: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNYz9hy5hi8&t=3483s
- [Kindness is Important in Buddhist Communities | Ajahn Brahm | 11 February 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-4nWSXSgVk) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:06:15 to 1:06:50: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-4nWSXSgVk&t=3975s
- [Interview: Tough Questions for Ajahn Brahm | 06 Nov 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq-nVhcn-dM) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 46:42 to 48:25: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq-nVhcn-dM&t=2802s
- [Two Bad Bricks | Ajahn Brahm | 30 December 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Cy9NKk0WM) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 58:16 to 59:53: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1Cy9NKk0WM&t=3496s
- [Spiritual Joy of Giving | Ajahn Brahm | 24 January 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0eWpnggUwk) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 21:51 to 22:12: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0eWpnggUwk&t=1311s
- [New Year's Eve (Dhamma Talk, Meditation & Chanting) | Ajahn Brahm | 31 December 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpsBHggU_BY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 10:03 to 10:20: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpsBHggU_BY&t=603s
- [Wholesome Family Relationships | Ajahn Brahm | 9 February 2024](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0Yy2sz47iY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 3:38 to 4:05: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0Yy2sz47iY&t=218s
- [Tradition and Truth | Ajahn Brahm | 14-05-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xn6RMT6qZ4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 31:48 to 32:14: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xn6RMT6qZ4&t=1908s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 8 July 2023](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BSTZS4VF7Q) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:04:40 to 1:04:58: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BSTZS4VF7Q&t=3880s
- [Hard Questions To A Soft Teacher (2/2) | Ajahn Brahm & Venerable Canda | 7 November 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Qs6v1orD8) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:09:25 to 1:10:02: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Qs6v1orD8&t=4165s
- [Teenagers Are Aliens | Ajahn Brahm | 26 October 2012](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSzGDO6RAeQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 45:57 to 46:22: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSzGDO6RAeQ&t=2757s
- [Ajahn Brahm's Personal Experience of Grief | Ajahn Brahm | 22 May 2026](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4qA0xho_oM) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 5:33 to 6:14: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4qA0xho_oM&t=333s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 31 May 2014](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWk0ypDlLXc) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 4:29 to 4:51: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWk0ypDlLXc&t=269s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 7 February 2026](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU5c9FkL1hM) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:11:46 to 1:12:25: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU5c9FkL1hM&t=4306s
- [Meditation and Youth | Ajahn Brahm | 20 March 2026](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPJAYGm_jwY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 19:18 to 20:28: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPJAYGm_jwY&t=1158s
- [独りでも幸せでいる方法 ｜ アジャン・ブラム （Ajahn Brahm）2019年2月1日](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiYMe5A0CHs) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 17:07 to 17:41: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiYMe5A0CHs&t=1027s