# The emperor's three questions

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-emperors-three-questions
- Themes: presence, care, relationships, patience
- Life situations: relationships taken for granted, busy work life, customer service, parenting

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Ajahn Brahm summarises the short story (by Tolstoy) that changed his life: an emperor, fed up with organised religion, decides he needs only the answers to three questions — When is the most important time? Who is the most important person? What is the most important thing to do? He finds the answers not from monks, priests or books but from experience: now; the one you are with; to care.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

There was an emperor who was fed up with organised religions, none of it made sense to him. And all the people teaching those religions were so hypocritical. They told him to do things they didn't do themselves. So he rejected organised religions. And being an emperor, he thought "Why don't I find my own religion?" So, he got the wise people, the impressive people, he talked with them, investigated, and he finally came down to his three questions, thinking, "If only I could find the answer to these three questions, I'd have all the religion and spirituality which I needed in my life." And the three questions were, "When is the most important time? Who is the most important person? And the what is the most important thing to do?" The when, the who, the what. Now I know that many of you have heard this story before, but there are many people who haven't heard this story before. And those who haven't heard this story before, I want you to think about those three questions and what you think the answers are. If you've heard the story before, please don't spoil my fun, be quiet. Because there's a point to this. So, those were the emperor's three questions. He eventually found the answers in an unexpected source. But what are the answers? When is the most important time? Christmas time? Vesak? Friday evening when you finish work? When is the most important time? Come on. "Now". Correct, exactly. It's the most important time. So when should you say "sorry"? "Now" so turn around and say sorry to your partner for what you've done. When is the most important time to say you love your parents? Now. Please don't wait till tomorrow or this evening. Because you know, what happens? So often it happens the moment passes, you don't have that opportunity, to say how much you care for someone. You find they're dead, or they've gone overseas. Now you may think that's, such a simple and obvious answer. But if you practise that, if you take that on as one of the most important parts of your life, that 'now' really is the most important time. It really is; You'll find that your relationship to others, your relationship to life will totally change. For many people, "now" is not the most important time. We sacrifice too many moments of "now"; getting things out of the way, and then I'll be happy. For many people, "now" is not really important. That's why we get so old and all the things we should have done, we find we haven't done. Now is the most important time But the second question is the best. Who is the most important person? Yeah, can I hear you? Ah you are spoiling it. You've read it before. Most people when I say this, if they haven't heard it before, they all say "themselves", which is a wrong answer. We are in a such a self-centred society. We always think that I am the most important person in the world, which is totally wrong. And the answer, that's what I thought, first of all, because that's what I've been taught, come on, you are important. You make sure, that you get what you want. Your relationship, what satisfies you, your job which you really want What you really deserve in life. You go for it, you go and get it, you're really important. But the answer someone suggested was 'the person you're with'. The one in front of you is the most important person in the world. As soon as I heard that, this is what I mean by wisdom. You understand it. Why didn't I see that before? It is important. So whoever is in front of you, they are the most important person in the world. Give them that importance. And of course, as soon as I point that out, you know what I'm talking about, because how many times have you been talking with your partner and they've been ignoring you. They're not giving you a sense of importance. They are trying to get rid of you. I remember just when I was a student, when I read this story for the first time, Sometimes at the end of a lecture, I got up to the lecturer to ask a question. He wasn't listening to me; he was just trying to get rid of me. I was a small, hairy, insignificant student. He had better things to do. And that was a terrible feeling. That you're asking a question, and the other person was just trying to get rid of you. You weren't important to them. And if that happens to you too many times, you lose all your self-esteem, you get depressed. And you don't need to do that. So ever since I read that, and when I become a monk, one of the core practices, which I really try hard to live by, is even though I may be really tired, and you come up after the talk, and you want to ask a question, you are really important to me. I don't try and get rid of you, even if I'm really tired, because I try and practice; if you're right in front of me and I'm talking to you, you are the most important person in the world. And it's important for that. And there are many times in your life, you're by yourself. And of course, then, who you're with? You're with yourself. And then you're really important. So important that I said here before, whenever I go to bed at night, the last person I say goodnight to is myself. And I say that, "Good night me. Have a great night. See you in the morning." When I wake up in the morning, "Hi, good morning, here I am again. Have a great day me." That's no joke, I do that. I'm not crazy. And that actually is just showing that I'm important to me. Instead of just "No, you're not really important. So just sacrifice yourself, for the company, for your partner, for your kids, for other people." No, don't do that. So when you're by yourself, you are the most important person in the world. When you're with somebody, they're the most important person. And the last question, "What's the most important thing to do?" It's a obvious Buddhist answer, 'is to care', to care for yourself, to care for others.

## Teaching point

Now is the most important time, the one you're with is the most important person, and the most important thing is to care.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Tolstoy's emperor wanted only three answers, and Ajahn Brahm says they changed his life. The most important time is now. The most important person is the one in front of you, or yourself when you're alone. The most important thing is to care. Try it with whoever you meet next.

## Source

- [Wisdom and Stupidity | Ajahn Brahm | 04-02-2011](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbOShAIwNJA) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 40:36 to 47:27: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbOShAIwNJA&t=2436s

Other tellings of this story:

- [On Patience | Ajahn Brahm | 26-06-2009](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl0Lyxi8nbQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 20:05 to 25:39: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl0Lyxi8nbQ&t=1205s
- [The Dangers of Fear | Ajahn Brahm | 4 November 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9QrmkzlBgE) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 55:00 to 55:54: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9QrmkzlBgE&t=3300s
- [Having Positive Attitudes towards Everybody | Ajahn Brahm | 12 March 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsIU4DM27nQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 39:35 to 43:56: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsIU4DM27nQ&t=2375s
- [Expectations | Ajahn Brahm | 15 April 2016](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV0wiAuOqik) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 10:36 to 11:03: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV0wiAuOqik&t=636s
- [The Three Most Important Things - Ajahn Brahm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2bXP2o6mD4) (BSWA Retreats 2011-15 & Media) — watch from 0:38 to 1:37: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2bXP2o6mD4&t=38s
- [Day 10 Morning Talk on "Attitude to Life" - Nov 2013 Ajahn Brahm Retreat](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eivlNss6ZM) (BSWA Retreats 2011-15 & Media) — watch from 28:18 to 29:23: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eivlNss6ZM&t=1698s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 15 May 2021](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I96q7QSYHGY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:46 to 2:08: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I96q7QSYHGY&t=106s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 20 June 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLfl3MieumE) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 3:16 to 4:13: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLfl3MieumE&t=196s
- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 29 January 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPYu6Re9UD4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:05:56 to 1:07:20: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPYu6Re9UD4&t=3956s
- [Effective Management | Ajahn Brahm | 06 Nov 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_5tfQRkAZ4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:09:31 to 1:10:05: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_5tfQRkAZ4&t=4171s
- [2023 April (1/19) | 9 day Retreat | Ajahn Brahm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98nirVZgiG4) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 58:04 to 1:00:21: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98nirVZgiG4&t=3484s
- [아나빠나 사띠 숫따 13-16 단계(위빳사나 수행)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4HxElzGQQw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 46:57 to 48:46: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4HxElzGQQw&t=2817s