# “You're a much better mum when you come home”

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-daughter-sends-mum-to-meditate
- Themes: stress, parenting, self-care, meditation
- Life situations: parenting stress, work stress, burnout

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A tired mother tells her children she will skip the meditation group; her daughter insists she go, because she is a much better mum afterwards.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

Many times when I've been teaching meditation, especially down at Armadale, I don't know why this happens always in Armadale group. In Armadale group, sometimes after the meditation, talking to people afterwards, and very often people say, "You know, this evening, I never wanted to come." "It's Tuesday evening, I've been at work, and I'm tired, and I told my kids I'm not going this evening, and my daughter said, 'Mommy, you must go to meditation.' I said, 'I don't feel like it darling, I'm tired.' 'Mommy, you must go to meditation!' 'No, not this evening.' 'Mommy, go to meditation!!' 'Why darling?' 'Because you're a much nicer mommy when you come back.'

## Teaching point

One reason to meditate is that other people have to put up with you; rest makes us less difficult.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A tired mother wanted to skip meditation, and her daughter wouldn't hear of it: you're a much nicer mummy when you come back. Children often notice our stress before we do. Rest and a quiet mind aren't selfish; they're a gift to everyone who has to live with us, and a kindness to yourself as well.

## Source

- [Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 28 Nov 2008](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jniaUr_7438) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 35:06 to 35:55: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jniaUr_7438&t=2106s

Other tellings of this story:

- [O radzeniu sobie z trudnymi ludźmi - Ajahn Brahm [LEKTOR PL]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPz6-oAxM7Q) (Sasana.pl) — watch from 35:14 to 36:00: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPz6-oAxM7Q&t=2114s