# Total listening — the counsellor threw away her learning

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-counsellor-total-listening
- Themes: listening, counselling, silence
- Life situations: helping others, therapy

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Wealthy client exhausted usual therapies; counsellor at a Buddhist conference describes going totally quiet, discarding training static, listening — then words come unbidden when it is her turn.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

counseling from this woman this woman said in her presentation that she knew the background she knew that know all the usual ways of dealing with this problem wouldn't work because they had already been tried so she decided to do this total listening when the woman came in the room this is her client the counselor just went very peaceful very quiet no thoughts throw away all of the learning which you've had before cuz that just creates more a static between the ears and she listened to this person for a few minutes as she described what was happening to her and then when it was a turn for the counsel to speak she said the words came out of her mouth

## Teaching point

Sometimes the best technique is to throw the techniques away and listen.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A counsellor with an exhausted, ill client put aside all her training and simply listened. Then words came from nowhere: it's time you played the violin again. The woman wept. As a girl, her mother had forbidden it, the start of a controlled life. Real listening can say what techniques miss. Give someone your full attention today.

## Source

- [Total Listening | Ajahn Brahm | 29 Jun 2012](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQSBFC_IlVY) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 13:19 to 14:11: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQSBFC_IlVY&t=799s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Real Teacher | Ajahn Brahm | 20 May 2016](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4NRqix7-xU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 8:42 to 9:48: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4NRqix7-xU&t=522s