# Toss a coin to find out what you want

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Analogy
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-coin-toss-what-you-really-want
- Themes: decisions, intuition
- Life situations: difficult decisions, marriage decisions

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Advice for a hard decision: toss a coin — heads I marry her, tails I don't. If it comes up heads and you think 'two out of three?', you don't want it; if you think 'yes!', you wanted it all along. The coin just gets your intuition up into your brain.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

But, if you read my book, you toss a coin, you marry her, tails I get divorced. Oh no, you can't get divorced until you're married. Heads I marry her, tails I don't. And the point is, once it comes up heads, how do you feel? Heads I marry her, do you think 2 out of 3? In other words, you're not happy with the decision. Then of course what that's telling you is how you feel inside. If it comes up heads, heads I marry her, yes! That means you really want to do it in the first place. So tossing a coin, it's finding out what you really want to do. So you make a decision, heads I go left, tails I go right. After you've tossed a coin, how do you feel? What's the emotion inside? It's just getting that intuition up to your brain.

## Teaching point

Your reaction to the result reveals what you really want.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Heads I marry her, tails I don't. Ajahn Brahm's coin isn't there to decide for you. Watch your heart when it lands: relief or the urge to try best of three. That reaction is the answer you already knew. The coin just brings your intuition up into your head.

## Source

- [Am I Good Enough? | Ajahn Brahm | 28 April 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2mWuCk70Ck) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:01:00 to 1:01:53: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2mWuCk70Ck&t=3660s