# How dare you take away my grief?

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-claremont-mother-how-dare-you-take-my-grief
- Themes: grief, loss, compassion, freedom
- Life situations: bereavement, public talks

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

After a talk on freedom from pain, a mother of a Claremont serial-killer victim eyeballs Brahm: how dare you try to take away my grief — sincerity that shocked him.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

this woman came up to me afterwards and I was kind of shocked by what she said. Apparently she was one of the mothers of uh those group of young women who became known as the the victims of the Claremont serial killer. And no one knew exactly who uh that person was. But then when I gave this talk about how to find freedom from that pain, she came up to me and she put her nose almost right on top of my nose. She was like really eyeballing me. And she said, I remember her comments, "How dare you try and take away my grief?

## Teaching point

Grief can feel like the last belonging; offer freedom carefully.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

After a talk on freedom from pain, a mother whose daughter had been murdered came nose to nose with Ajahn Brahm: how dare you try to take away my grief? He was shocked; she meant it. Grief can become a home we're afraid to leave. Be gentle with the grieving. Freedom is possible, when they're ready.

## Source

- [Freedom | Ajahn Brahm | 5 July 2024](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWyNL4vEClw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 5:15 to 6:07: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWyNL4vEClw&t=315s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Guided Meditation | Ajahn Brahm | 18 June 2022](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs_suvx3BwU) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:07:59 to 1:08:37: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs_suvx3BwU&t=4079s
- [Dealing with disasters | by Ajahn Brahm | 1 May 2015](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex3qPBa83hQ) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 36:07 to 36:50: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex3qPBa83hQ&t=2167s
- [独りでも幸せでいる方法 ｜ アジャン・ブラム （Ajahn Brahm）2019年2月1日](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiYMe5A0CHs) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 35:33 to 36:01: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiYMe5A0CHs&t=2133s