# When am I going?

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-chah-wouldnt-tell-jagaro-when
- Themes: uncertainty, craving, patience, Ajahn Chah
- Life situations: waiting for news, uncertainty, needing answers

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

At Wat Pah Pong, Ajahn Chah tells the young monk Ajahn Jagaro he is being sent to another monastery ('the banana garden'). Jagaro asks when he's going; Ajahn Chah changes the subject. Day after day Jagaro asks, and day after day Ajahn Chah changes the subject. Jagaro complains to Ajahn Brahm: all he wants is a simple answer. After about a week Jagaro stops asking — and the next day Ajahn Chah sends him.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

Agent Chow won't tell me when I'm gonna go. " He kept going there every day to ask him when he could go so that he could actually make arrangements and agent Chow would never tell him. This went on for about two weeks and agent Jack kept on asking, "When am I gonna go? I need to make preparations," and agent Chow would never tell him. Then one day, agent Jackrow never went to ask. And then agent Chow told me, "You're going the next day

## Teaching point

The craving to know is a form of fear of losing control; let things belong to the great unknown.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Ajahn Chah told Ajahn Jagaro he'd be sent to another monastery, then changed the subject every time Jagaro asked when. The day Jagaro stopped asking, Chah sent him. He was teaching him to live with uncertainty. Too many plans make us fearful and blind to opportunities. Trust you'll manage, and enjoy not knowing.

## Source

- [Unresolved Issues | Ajahn Brahm | 04-04-2014](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP0VC-Nx0DA) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 12:49 to 13:18: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP0VC-Nx0DA&t=769s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Wanting For Nothing | by Ajahn Brahm | 02-10-2012](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JXoSyx-G-Q) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 51:09 to 52:36: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JXoSyx-G-Q&t=3069s