# Three months without looking at a girl

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-chah-novice-three-months-eyes-down
- Themes: sensuality, lust, suppression, Ajahn Chah, humour
- Life situations: temptation, celibacy, addiction

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

One of Ajahn Chah's own stories: as a lusty 18- or 19-year-old novice in a town monastery, he resolved that for the three-month rains retreat he wouldn't look at any girl at all, keeping his eyes down, thinking restraint would overcome his lust. For three months he was fine — but when the resolution ended, the first girl he looked at, he went crazy with lust.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

one of Ajahn Chah's stories was that when he was a young, lusty novice, you-know, 18, 19 years of age, with all the hormones running through him, he wanted to become a monk, but, obviously, he saw young Thai girls, and he would have lust towards them. And so for three months, during a period of what we call Rains Retreat, the time when I don't come here, Sister Vayama doesn't come here. Those of you who have been coming here for a long time know for three months we always go back into our monasteries. He was staying in a town monastery, so for three months, he decided he would not look at any girl at all. He would keep his eyes down, and not even look at anybody, thinking that that type of restraint would overcome his lust. So for three months, he refused to even look at a girl. And he said what happened, for those three months he was fine, but after his resolution was completed, the first girl he looked at he went crazy with lust.

## Teaching point

Suppressing or avoiding the trigger doesn't overcome desire; understanding your response does.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

As a young novice, Ajahn Chah kept his eyes down for a whole rains retreat to beat his lust, and the first woman he saw afterwards sent him wild. Ajahn Brahm loves that he told it against himself. Avoiding a trigger isn't the same as understanding it. Look honestly at your cravings rather than only hiding from them.

## Source

- [The Buddhist Attitude to Sensuality | Ajahn Brahm | 19-01-2007](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV1f4G-hiDw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 4:46 to 5:56: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV1f4G-hiDw&t=286s

Other tellings of this story:

- [MN 75 Magandiya Sutta (To Magandiya)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9Hu9rfsqJs) (Dhammaloka Suttas) — watch from 31:01 to 32:10: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9Hu9rfsqJs&t=1861s