# Men don't cry in Australia

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-aussie-retreatant-men-dont-cry
- Themes: emotions, gender, Australia, meditation
- Life situations: retreat, emotional repression

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Aussie retreatant cries in meditation; last cry was at 11–12 when his father said men don't cry in Australia.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

fellow who came on one of my retreats, an Aussie guy. He started crying in while he was meditating. He said, "What's going on here?" And you know what I told him? I said, "When was the last time you had a cry?" And he said, "When I was about, I think about 11 or 12 or something." And my father said, "Men don't cry in Australia

## Teaching point

Meditation sometimes returns the tears you were told to hide.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

An Australian man started crying on retreat. His last cry was at about eleven, when his father said men don't cry in Australia. He had thirty years of tears to catch up on, cried all week, and felt wonderful. Ajahn Brahm jokes that it made him very attractive. Let yourself cry when you need to.

## Source

- [Ultimate Truth and Reality | Ajahn Brahm | 1 Dec 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTtMR-KEHXw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 48:27 to 48:51: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTtMR-KEHXw&t=2907s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Secular Mindfulness | Ajahn Brahm | 27 October 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGjXEM1HZ54) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 1:01:46 to 1:02:27: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGjXEM1HZ54&t=3706s
- [Meditation - 16-05-2015 | with Ajahn Brahm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEf6zyDG2b4) (DhammalokaMeditation) — watch from 1:20:45 to 1:21:30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEf6zyDG2b4&t=4845s