# The filthy rag

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-angry-monk-filthy-rag
- Themes: anger, non-retaliation, monastic life, patience
- Life situations: being criticised in public, workplace conflict, angry colleagues

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

In front of the other monks, a monk angrily tells Ajahn Brahm that wiping his bowl with that filthy rag is a filthy habit. Tempted to argue — even to punch him — Ajahn Brahm instead, with a lot of willpower, walks to the rag bag, takes a proper cloth and carries on wiping his bowl. The watching monks go silent; then everyone looks at the accuser, who goes bright red, walks away, and never gets angry at him again.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

There's one case this monk of all people got really angry with me in front of other people in the monastery. And this monk and I was actually wiping my bowl with a rag said that's a filthy habit. You shouldn't wash your bowl with a filthy rag like that. Was that impressive? No, not really. Okay. [laughter] I don't usually get angry. But anyway, he was so angry at me and I realized I had a choice. I could get angry back, which was fair. But no, I want to try something else. And I remember just this was done with a lot of willpower. I must admit, I don't usually use willpower, but I really wanted to punch him or something. But instead, instead, I just went over to the rag bag. I changed over and got a proper cloth and started wiping my my bowl. And all the time I could see all the monks gone quiet. They want to find out what happens next. We didn't have TV in monastery. I didn't sort of see anything interesting and this was actually, you know, drama, something happening. So anyway, I went over there and I just uh changed my my bowl lid. They changed the the the rag I was using and then I looked up at him and so did everybody else and he went red in the face, bright red embarrassment and he walked away and he never got angry at me again.

## Teaching point

When someone is angry at you, don't argue back; quietly accommodate them, especially when others are watching.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

Scolded in front of everyone for wiping his bowl with a filthy rag, Ajahn Brahm resisted the urge to argue, or punch, and quietly fetched a clean cloth. The accuser went red and never got angry with him again. When someone attacks over something small, changing the rag can be cheaper than winning the argument.

## Source

- [Having a Good Relationship with Life | Ajahn Brahm | 9 October 2020](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_3C-49o_78) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 58:07 to 59:49: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_3C-49o_78&t=3487s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Building Resilience | Ajahn Brahm | 8 November 2019](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_znbRN8JRXw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 48:47 to 51:43: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_znbRN8JRXw&t=2927s
- [Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 09-07-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 39:26 to 41:28: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo&t=2366s