# The caller who threatened the monks

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-angry-caller-m16
- Themes: difficult people, kindness, listening, understanding
- Life situations: dealing with an abusive caller, hostile customer, angry relative

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

A woman phones the monastery cursing and threatening to come with a rifle; Ajahn Brahm answers only with kindness, she says he alone understands her, calms down and tells him about her painful life.

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

I remember this one lady, no other monk would be able to talk with her, and she would come on the telephone...I think [?] knows who I'm talking about, and she would swear, F-words, bloody words, "Bloody monks, I'm going to come up there with an M-16 and shoot you all." I said, "OK, that's a nice thing to do." [laughter] Ajahn: I understood her. No, she's a really difficult person, but because I never reacted back, because I always react in kindness, she always loved me and said, "You're the only person who understands me," and of course she never came to the monastery with an M-16 to shoot us all. She was just taking out her venom on someone who would listen and not take it seriously. I could understand where she was coming from, the pain of her life, the difficulties of her life and embracing her for who she was. Then she'd calm down, become very peaceful and tell me all about her life, a very painful difficult life. She was not a problem. She was not a difficulty.

## Teaching point

If you can calm yourself and accept people as they are, there are no ‘difficult people’ (my paraphrase of the translation).

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

She swore and threatened the monks, and Ajahn Brahm simply didn't take the bait. Because he stayed calm and kind, she calmed down too and told him about a very painful life. Behind a lot of hostility is hurt nobody has listened to; calm yourself first and you can hear it. If you are ever truly in danger, though, stay safe.

## Source

- [Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 28 Nov 2008](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jniaUr_7438) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 50:51 to 51:57: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jniaUr_7438&t=3051s

Other tellings of this story:

- [Dealing With Difficult People | Ajahn Brahm | 09-07-2010](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 21:32 to 22:20: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo&t=1292s
- [O radzeniu sobie z trudnymi ludźmi - Ajahn Brahm [LEKTOR PL]](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPz6-oAxM7Q) (Sasana.pl) — watch from 50:50 to 51:59: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPz6-oAxM7Q&t=3050s