# 'You ordained to forget'

- Teacher: Ajahn Brahm
- Type: Story
- URL: https://beingmindfulstories.com/stories/brahm-ajahn-juin-failed-love-affair
- Themes: monastic life, humour, renunciation, logic
- Life situations: misunderstood choices, heartbreak

## Synopsis (editorial summary)

Visiting Ajahn Juin, a famous old Thai monk at the top-hat-shaped mountain monastery Phu Tok, Ajahn Brahm hears a Bangkok lady ask him, 'Did you become a monk because you had a failed love affair?' 'No, of course not.' 'Ha, that makes sense — you ordained to forget, and you have forgotten by now.'

## The story, as told by Ajahn Brahm (verbatim captions)

there is a monk called...Ajahn Juin. He was one of the old Thai monks who lived in this beautiful monastery "~Phu ~Top". It's like a top hat mountain and some of the Thai people know him and I - I mean he was a very famous monk at that time - I went to visit him and this lady came from Bangkok and asked this monk, "Did you become a monk,because you had a failed love affair?" He said, "No, of course not." She said, "Ha, that makes sense, you ordained to forget and you have forgotten by now."

## Teaching point

People assume monks flee from love; Ajahn Brahm says he ordained for the joy of meditation, not a broken heart.

## Reflection (in the spirit of Ajahn Brahm's talk)

A visitor decided old Ajahn Juin had ordained to forget a broken heart, and had simply forgotten by now. Ajahn Brahm laughs at the logic. People assume monks are running from love. He went toward something: a joy in meditation that surprised him. Look for the happiness that doesn't depend on getting what you want.

## Source

- [The Buddhist Attitude to Sensuality | Ajahn Brahm | 19-01-2007](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV1f4G-hiDw) (Buddhist Society of Western Australia) — watch from 46:31 to 47:04: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GV1f4G-hiDw&t=2791s